FIFA World Cup
Not long now until the most coveted prize in football – the World Cup.
32 teams are eager to hold that illustrious trophy aloft. Well, about 8 are, realistically.
England prepared for the World Cup by playing Peru and fellow World Cup finalists, Ecuador and Honduras. A 3-0 win over Peru was a great start to the preparations, and everyone had hopes of continuous progress for the next game against Ecuador. In fact, England had a good start to the game, as said by beginner tweeter, Phil Jagielka:
Moments later, Ecuador took the lead.
Easy mistake to make, Phil.
Although, it wasn’t really much of a surprise that Ecuador took the lead. With Phil Jones and Chris Smalling playing, what do you expect? But England managed overturn the deficit, courtesy of goals by Wayne Rooney and Rickie Lambert. A minor crisis averted. However, Ecuador equalised later on, courtesy of an admittedly cracking goal by Michael Arroyo. The game ended 2-2. A bit of a blow, but it wasn’t a bad day all round. Group D opponents Italy drew against lowly Luxembourg 1-1, thanks to an equaliser by Sheffield United legend Maxime Chanot. Italy obviously struggled with Luxembourg’s undefendable throwing techniques.
Rory Delap, eat your heart out.
On Saturday, England played against Honduras. A win, surely? No. They drew 0-0 following countless chances and unattractive football. Pretty much sums up England really. However, the scoreline doesn’t tell the whole story. The match was suspended for half an hour halfway through the first half due to a thunderstorm. Which meant that the fans in the stadium had to endure the thunder, lightning and torrential downpour and worst of all, the fans watching at home had to endure Adrian Chiles for 30 minutes.
But as the teams prepare for the 2014 World Cup, the 2022 World Cup, due to be held in Qatar, has been under severe scrutiny following allegations of bribery. Although, it’s not really much of a surprise. Everyone knew the voting was fixed as soon as Qatar’s name was called out. One outstanding figure was Mohamed bin Hammam, whom Qatar claimed had no part in the bid following the Sunday Times exposé on him.
Hmm, interesting…
But despite all the allegations, Qatar officials claim that they will still host the 2022 World Cup. Reading between the lines, this must mean more and more bribes.
Britain’s Got Talent
On Saturday, it was the Britain’s Got Talent final. It was like the semi-finals, except no drenching or bizarre headwear. Instead, it was David Walliams trying to impersonate Colonel Sanders.
Walliams must have had jam on his white trousers.
The finalists tried their best and it was left to public to decide who wins a spot in the Royal Variety Performance. But before all the dramatic pausing, there was a couple of musical performances. Little Mix performed their new single ‘Salute’ with Boyle-beaters Diversity. The performance received a rapturous applause. However, David Walliams fell victim to eagle-eyed viewers…
There was also a performance from Cheryl Cole.
A performance Marcel Marceau would have been proud of.
That’s the dancing and miming over and done with; it’s time for the results. The winners: Collabro – a five-piece musical theatre boyband.
Well done to them. Here’s hoping they reach the same heights as Attraction and Jai whatever-his-last-name-is.
French Open
Wimbledon is only a couple of weeks away and the quadrennial tradition of being in the World Cup’s shadow is here once again. But before all that, tennis fans watched tennis players battle on clay at Roland Garros. Andy Murray has had a mixed year since his Wimbledon win and reached the semi-finals before losing to King of Clay Rafael Nadal in straight sets. Although, not a lot of people were too upset as they were either used to it or more focused on the World Cup. Nadal went on to beat Novak Djokovic in the final and the King of Clay is set to cuddle his trophy in his bed in his sandcastle for the fifth consecutive year.
There was also some glory in the women’s singles, with Maria Sharapova beating Romanian Simona Halep in the final to claim her second French Open title. But I doubt that dampened Halep’s spirits. I hope Halep wins Wimbledon, just to see Nigel Farage tear his hair out.
Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber has come under scrutiny for 36th time this year following a video of him telling a joke about a chainsaw and a black person was leaked. Another video was leaked which shown Bieber use the n-word in a rap and joking about joining the Ku Klux Klan. He then apologised by using quotes of the Bible to express his sorrow. Never had him as religious. Especially since he spits on his own fans and drives under the influence of drugs and alcohol. But who can tell?
He also said that he doesn’t want his fans believing that he condones racism. To be honest, his fans are probably too deranged to care and they would still forgive him, even if he went on a racist rant towards Barack Obama.
Big Brother
It was the return of Big Brother this week. A show where wannabe celebrities act like complete morons for an endless amount of weeks. Contestants include Katie Price and Katie Hopkins idolisers. If you idolise Katie Price or Katie Hopkins, you should be excluded from society, which makes you perfect for Big Brother.
Personally, I would like Big Brother a lot more if instead of a house, the contestants walk into a cage full of hungry Siberian tigers with barbecue sauce all over the floor, and the people who survive will win a flat-share with Kerry Katona and her dozens of kids.
Thanks for reading. I will be taking a break from writing weekly reviews for the summer. However, I will be doing a World Cup review and a summer review in the meantime. So if you want to read weekly reviews I have written over the past few months, click here. I will also still be doing Miscellanea posts, as well as posting for the new Bizarre section (here is my first Bizarre post, Bizarre Foreign Expressions, if you want to read). I will return to writing weekly reviews in September. I hope you enjoyed them over the past 20 weeks. If not, oh well, you can’t please everyone.
Bradley Cates' Blog 